


I’m Fine With This

by Yuki101Shonada



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Unrequited Love, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 22:03:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13984242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuki101Shonada/pseuds/Yuki101Shonada
Summary: You only needed to look straight ahead, nothing else.





	I’m Fine With This

**Author's Note:**

> based on personal experiences

Red.

 

The only thing you saw was blazing red.

 

The demon running amok before you shrieked in a high pitch voice. You clench the hilt of your sword; holding the ancient blade between your hands as you gripped the hilt tightly; distancing yourself from the barbaric demon. However, your distance couldn’t help you when the demon began advancing towards you, baring its sharp teeth viciously at you.

 

You weren’t quick enough.

 

The dark shadows inching closer near you looked like hell. But this was hell, to begin with.  

 

“Y/N, dodge!”

 

The moment you heard Dean’s voice you bolted out the way, hurling onto the ground. What followed was a powerful explosion ringing in your ear.

 

Veering your eyes to the scene, you panted, clutching the long blade. The roaring flames consumed your sight, burning against your eyes. You turned your back to the sight, thinking the battle was over. The instant the smoke cleared, the demon reappeared, unscathed. Its large claws swung before you, thwarting your body. You didn’t even see it coming as your body collided against the thick wall.

 

“Guh!”

 

The back of your head slammed against the hard wall, causing a pained groan to escape your lips. The last thing you saw was Dean’s horrified face, screaming your name repeatedly.

-

The bright glow blinded your eyes; causing you to open your eyes slowly, adjusting to the abrupt brightness. But instead, you felt a pang of pain in your head. Bringing your hand up, your fingers brushed the top of your hair, the tightly bound bandages wrapped around your head.

 

“Y/N!” Dean’s face appeared into view as he rushed to your side and held your hand.

 

“Dean?”

 

Are you feeling well? You hit your head pretty hard when that demon attacked you.“ Dean’s fingers skimmed to your hair, carefully tracing over the bindings. "This is all my fault. If only I was more…careful.” Dean whispered, uttering the next words through gritted teeth. “I’m so sorry Y/N.”

 

Your eyes widened in surprise before your hand held his, squeezing tightly. “It’s not your fault this happened, Dean. If anything, I’m to blame. I was careless and look where it got me.” You averted your eyes, staring at the floor.

 

You knew the real reason why you were distracted. It happened numerous times when you were out on the battlefield, but you didn’t think it would land you in hot water, much less to this.

 

For the past three years, you were in love with Dean. During those last years, you knew there were many chances to voice your feelings. But you were too much of a coward to confess. And look where that had gotten you. Because you were busy mulling over your feelings you had let a weak level demon get a hand over you, during one of your supernatural hunts.

 

Some part of you wanted to tell Dean but you knew he wouldn’t feel the same way. After all, you were friends and nothing more. What could you had possibly hoped? Take the initiative to confess and risk losing your precious friendship, or endure the pain, and hope for your feelings to fade away? Time was of the essence, but it didn’t look like you had luck on your side.

 

“Y/N…” Dean said, meeting your gaze. Unlike his usual uplifted mood, Dean’s voice sounded pained. “You’ve careless for some time now. Is something bothering you? You can tell me…you know?”

 

Gods, Deans hands were so warm. You wished Dean could hold you like this forever, but you knew you couldn’t.

 

 _Not like this._  

 

It was wrong to feel like this. Especially, considering it was Dean.

 

“I’m fine Dean. Really, I am.” You stood up quickly and flung the covers from your body. Brandishing your sword to your side, you forced a grin on your lips, smiling at Dean. “See? Even stand up! So, stop beating yourself up, about it.” Forcing a laugh out of your lips, you walked past Dean, then to the door. “Come on. We should get going. Jared is probably waiting for us.”

 

“Yeah,” Dean said, getting up from his chair. He murmured something under his breath.

 

“What was that?”

 

Dean smiled, waving his hand to you. “It’s nothing. Go on ahead without me, "Y/N. I’ll be right there.”

 

“Okay, Dean.” You rushed out of the room, leaving Dean with his thoughts.

 

Sighing, Dean rubbed his temple; running his hand through his hair, his other free hand he had hidden from Y/N. Specifically, Y/N’s blood. “You’ll be the death of me, Y/N. Stop being such a coward and tell me already.”

 

Dean groaned, staring at the doorway Y/N exited.

 

“I love you, Y/N,” Dean whispered, under his breath. He only wished Y/N was here with him. But she wasn’t. Outside the door, Y/N strolled through the hallway in haste. Not stopping to take a breath as her headache persisted.

 

You only wished you had the courage to tell Dean. But you were content with being by his side and enjoy the short time you had left with Dean.

 

“I love you, Dean.”

 

Those were the words you would never tell him and you were happy with that. Even if your heart continued hurting. You just had to wait until your feelings for Dean would die out. You weren’t sure how long it would take, but you hope it was quick and painless.


End file.
